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sassings:

wish i was witty and cute but instead im sarcastic and annoying

(via fake-mermaid)

So the drugstore I was in today had a perfume display. Here are some of the perfumes I came across.

jessicarabbit:

tenr0se:

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Dirt

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Funeral Home

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Weed

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Grass

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Holy Water

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Laundromat

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Leather

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New Zealand 

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Play-Doh 

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Wet Garden

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Tomato

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Suntan Lotion

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Sex on the Beach

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Riding Crop

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Soap

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And Finally, Swimming Pool

"No officer, for the last time, I did not smoke weed. Thats just my new perfume, cannabis flower"

(Source: allo-nsy, via holdthisicantcarryit)

timecurry:

hellohelbig:

justindonuts:

lets-get-krunk:

"I really don’t want to shower but I want to be clean" an autobiography

"Now that I’m in the shower I really dont wanna get out" a sequel

"Now that I’m out, I don’t want to put on clothes" the spin-off

"I’m sitting here in my towel and I must have showered 2 hours ago" the self help booklet

(via justinscrew)

liqhtly:

i have two moods:

1. everybody get the fuck away from me

2. someone come over and cuddle and watch movies with me

there is no in between

(via fake-mermaid)

tacodwell:

I remember when I was a fetus I used to sneak out at night while my mother was sleeping

(Source: cashcutie, via fake-mermaid)

2by2handsofblue:

abbadonallhope:

bitterassfandom:

onedirectionfangirlproblems:

usa gets silver:

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russia gets silver:

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chinese get silver:

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british get bronze:

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actually, it’s been psychologically proven that bronze winners are happier than silver winners! silver winners see themselves as being “so close” to gold, while bronze winners are just happy they won a medal. so any silver medalist isn’t as happy as a bronze medalist!

Canada gets silver:image

ok but it’s canada

(Source: juvenialls, via midnight-heat)

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